wondering why...

24thjune.
can life,treat you so harshly at times?
u would say,its testing me,n preparing me 2 bare hardships
n exel,wid cconfidence.
i am so scared...so damn scared of telling,
wat feeling is lingering over me,entering n re-entering me with
greater force....i am scared of saying..."i am scared".
is it really that hard?...
am asphixiated wid thoughts of future/thoughts ofwhy people
never see me,for what i am......dey never really try u noe!...
my current problems:
1.wat am i going to do,wid myself?
2.ppl,hu r tryin dere best 2 stain my name
n obsessed wid my remaing a virgin,or loosing it.
3.havin trusted sum ppl,too much.
4.a big tym liar,whom i cant deny as a friend...but its d worst case.
5.no source of support 4m ne1,having 2 trouble myself.
6.being blamed by ol.
7.concrete studies,wich r repeatedly refused by my brain!
8.somethin.-i loose it,i'll loose pretty much.

a small miracle,would have been good,in order 2 enhance my selfconfidence...n lift up my spirits.I'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN.